The 5 Worst Things About Receiving Upper Deckers

upper decker
Evidence of an Upper Decker

1. It took you a week to figure out that a prank went down at your party. No, not a prank, an upper decker is pure vandalism. The day after the party, you knew it was epic.  There was garbage everywhere, empty beer bottles, panties, a bloody tank top, and where the hell is the $!*@# cat??!  The whole house smelled a little funny anyway, you know, with the debris all over, but why wouldn’t the toilet flush properly…?
2. You are such an awful person that someone thought that it would be a good idea to take a dump “upstairs.”  Your years of being a dick have finally caught up with you.  Maybe you started banging your best friend’s little sister, maybe it was his mom, or maybe something even more progressive and open minded than that.  Maybe you just got fuckin’ hammered a few weeks back and yakked in someone’s washing machine after mistaking it for a toilet.

3. There is a truly repulsive aroma being emitted from your bathroom and you can’t seem to figure out why.  You finally got the rest of the house to stop smelling like a frat house party.  Sure, it did take a few days and several trips to the dumpster, but you did it.  You still haven’t found the cat but those things are pretty darn self sufficient.  That other bathroom in the guest bedroom still smells like a freakin’ sewage plant and little floaters keep showing up after every flush.  Checking the flapper reveals the worst scenario: Upper Decker aftermath.
4. You are going to have to clean up the human (hopefully?) feces out of the toilet.  This is no small task and many people just opt to call a plumb, a noble profession, just to avoid fishing out the poopy.  If you’re lucky, and if you have received an upper decker, trust me, you aren’t lucky…but I digress.  If you’re lucky, then the poop is solid and you can reasonably take care of this clean up job.  Or, you can be a real jerk (see #2) and get one of your idiot friends trashed and bet him (or her) to clean up for you.  Here is how you can clean up an upper decker.
5. Someone shit in the toilet tank.  Enough said.

Check out what to eat before an upper decker for maximum impact!

Have you been a victim of an upper decker?  If so, we want to know!  Share your story by clicking here.  If you have pictures, then we want to see them.  Become a celebrity not a victim!