There are various definitions of an “upper decker,” but they all contain a common theme – leaving a deuce in the back tank of a toilet. Your initial reaction might be, “Why would someone do that?” While we can’t address every reason to leave an upper decker, below are the top 10 things that make it awesome.
- As we all were taught, it is better to give than to receive. Never has this been more true than with an upper decker.
- A well timed upper decker will allow your deuce to marinate for hours or even days before discovery by the unsuspecting recipient. Every parent wants his/her child to live a full fulfilling life, and planting your deuce in the back tank gives your child time to mature to its full potential.
- When was the last time you sat on the back of your toilet? Exactly – a fresh perspective on your bathroom might be just what you need to gain a fresh perspective on life.
- After leaving an upper decker, no need to flush the toilet!
- When confronted by the recipient, you will get a chance to practice your indignant reaction. “How dare you accuse me of doing such a thing?” and if done properly, you can shame the recipient in addition to giving them the deuce present.
- If upper decker-ing in a crowded location, it will encourage you to have smooth and speedy bowel movements so as not to draw attention to yourself. If you needed an excuse for a high-fiber, balanced diet this is it!
- Leaving an upper decker in an enemy’s tank releases stress and tension. Really, it is the healthful decision for a good night’s sleep.
- The economy is down. Be patriotic. Upper decker-ing promotes the purchase of bathroom cleaning products, hand sanitizer, and rubber gloves.
- Struggling for conversation on your last first date or holiday family party? Not anymore – “Hey, do you know what an upper decker is? Let me tell you a story…”
- Live your dream of being a professional baseball player. Drop a bomb into the upper deck. Home run!
Have you been a victim of an upper decker? If so, we want to know! Share your story by clicking here. If you have pictures, then we want to see them. Become a celebrity not a victim!